Misfits… do we ever fit in?

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Try to have a conversation with young nigerians mostly here in lagos…there is always some sort of identity difference, sometimes its like a clique of individuals who see the world differently and hope that the rest of their generation will too someday….

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Well Busayo, Temilade and Molo are  young nigerians who feel they still don’t fit into the perfect world or society and mostly because of what?

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“Sometimes i feel alienated….

Why don’t people think the way I do? I mean yeah people aren’t supposed to think the same way but why am i constantly feeling like a blue skittle in a box full of yellow M&Ms?
When I hear thoughts and ideas get passed around it’s like everyone shares the same views well except me. Sometimes i think ‘sure they’d think like that pfft its this nigerian mentality ‘ other times i get a bit sad because it would be nice to fit in for once at least.
Most of the memories I have of me in social situations is me getting into constant arguments. I’m thinking “Why do you people think like this?” “Why can’t you see the bigger picture?”
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It got so bad I started keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself even when i was asked because i thought ‘What’s the point? you all would make fun of me anyway’.
But as time went by i realized I wasn’t meant to fit it. Sure, it sucked when I’m not allowed the aux cord because certain people couldn’t stand the type of music I listened to, or when i get stares at uni because i decided to put actual flowers in my hair. I am different and I’m not about to conform to the ‘normal’ standards or codes of conduct for a Nigerian youth.
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These past few months have been refreshing meeting different people like me. Not exactly like but they do not also fit in with the norm at their various places of work or study. They are different yet so unique in their own way. Beautiful people with their own original aesthetic, sort of like an aura around them. I love seeing more of these people. People that break social boundaries and yell ‘So what? ‘ at the ‘normal’ masses. So what if we don’t wear what you wear. So what if we don’t believe in what you believe in? or look how you do? We believe in ourselves and in our uniqueness. Let us break away for the norm and be daring, different”
Busayo 
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“As I sat and stared at the other kids playing together, I couldn’t help but feel sad, angry and hurt for reasons that were unknown to me. You must understand that when you can’t explain why you feel the way you do, especially when it isn’t good, it is the worst thing ever. I felt like I was at fault for being alive. It hurt. So much…….
I thought to myself, Why can’t I be like them? Why do I feel strange whenever I’m in their midst, why am I different? I watched as they played and laughed and chased each all around the park. I tried to join them on numerous occasions… but I stopped myself from an inevitable embarrassment.
Years later, while reading an article somewhere, I come across the word “MISFIT”. Curiosity takes the better part of me and I look it up in the dictionary. There are, of course, various definitions but one reaches out to me.. it goes thus “A badly adjusted person; someone unsuitable or set apart because of their habits, behaviour etc.”
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I realize, at this point, that this “badly adjusted person” is me. I realize that my “habits and behavior” have set me apart from my peers and age mates. I am, and have been, a Misfit all these years…… “Well” I decide, “it’s not my business if no one understand the awesomeness that I am.”
Temilade
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‘I’m just a very complex person, who can’t fit very well into this medical school because i’m not about that “read only” lifestyle. i can’t sit down and read for over 7 hours, go to classes everyday like my normal classmates, dress corporate everything because there’s no time for me to iron my clothes. i’d rather listen to music, surf the internet, take selfies, dance if i have enough ginger, take pictures and do other fun stuff than read my whole day’
Molo 
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Do you feel like a misfit in your neighborhood please do write to us urbanecoven@gmail.com would love to hear and share your story.
Photography: Molo
Editing Daniel Obasi
Muse: Busayo, Temilade, Molo

5 Comments

  1. Dave

    December 10, 2015 at 12:59 am

    This is so good, not as clichè as what I see nowadays.
    Well done.

  2. Simi

    December 10, 2015 at 7:18 am

    Awww!!! I really love this piece. Honestly I think we are all different in so many ways than one and we should learn to accept who other people are. The only reason I think some people wont accept others who seem to be “different” is because of lack of understanding or unwillingness to understand them (which is selfish in a way) or even immaturity and inability to broaden their minds. And Molo I love the concept of your photography even if I’m certainly not that kind of person, it’s refreshing seeing something different.

    • Urbanecoven

      December 10, 2015 at 8:01 am

      Hi simi, thanks for your contribution you can share your story with urbanecoven@gmail.com… Would love to hear more from you

  3. Sade

    December 11, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    This is so visious!! Love to be part

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    January 9, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    I am genuinely thankful to the owner of this site who has shared this impressive article at at this time.

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